Your Important Unimportance

I’m starting a campaign, who is with me? It’s going to be called the “you’re just not that important” effort. Hear me out.

Cell phones are a fantastic invention. I have no idea how anyone functioned without them and don’t know howI’d cope without mine. I have exactly two phone numbers memorized: mine and my sister’s. I don’t know my parents’ numbers, my friends’ numbers, or even my own boyfriend’s number. If something happened to my phone, I’d have to make all new friends and put myself up for adoption.

All of that being said, I know when the appropriate time and place is to use my cell phone. I also have activities in my life where I realizeI look like das uber tool when I’m talking on my phone, so I don’t do it. These places include but are not limited to:

· While I’m sitting at my table at a restaurant
· While I’m working out at the gym
· When I’m paying for whatever at a store (cashiers are people too)

I have been at the gym jogging on the treadmill and have had some ass hat get on the treadmill next to me and clunk his cell phone down in the cup holder. If you are SO important that you can’t take one hour away from your Nokia, you probably should be back at your desk, or out flying around the city in your super-suit trying to find your arch nemisis. Which brings me back to my campaign – you’re just not that important. I assure you, you can put your cell phone in your locker and focus on your workout for one hour, and if not – I have other suggestions for where you can put your Motorola.

If in fact you do decide you are that important and must talk on your phone when you’re working out/in a restaurant/pretending the cashier isn’t a person, at least make your conversation interesting to those around you. It’s the least you can do since you’re now making me listen to your LOUD apparently invaluable conversation that you just can’t miss.
Lines that are acceptible include but are not limited to quotes like:

· “If it weren’t for that horse, I’d have never made it through that 2nd year in college”
· “… and that’s the 3rd time I got crabs”
· “… so I said to him ‘hey that’s my cousin, and she still has the one good leg!”

And so forth.

So please, stop bringing everyone into your retarded conversations. You’re uninteresting, you’re loud, and you’re just not that important.